I'm climbing a mountain, no actually...

Hi everyone,

So I know its been a long time since I checked in with you all. A lot has happened. I went traveling with Caitlin for 2 months and have got a place to go back to University in September to do a masters degree in Environmental Policy and Management! But before I go back to school I am climbing a mountain to raise money for Coppafeel! 

At the end of August I will spend 6 days climbing the Mountain that is Macchu Pichu in Peru with my legendary friend Lucy. Why am I doing this you might wonder? The answer my friends is that I thought it was about time I got my act together and raised some money for the wonderful charity Coppafeel! Family and friends have all done things to raise money for them before and now its my turn...

I have been making a video blog on you tube in a bid to raise awareness and also to try and show people why raising money for Coppafeel! is so important to me. The first two include flashback videos of when I was going through treatment, you can finally see what it was like for me to have my hair shaved off! I will also be making some videos to keep everyone updated on how my training is going.

You can sponsor me here

 https://coppafeelmachupicchu.everydayhero.com/uk/laura

Please Please Please help me to raise as much money as possible for this amazing charity. Your support means the world to me.

Here are my Vlogs..

https://coppafeelmachupicchu.everydayhero.com/uk/laura
Love you long time. X

I'm back!

Hello friends,

I am so sorry for my absence from the blogging world. I have no excuses other than I have just been busy living my life. It has been amazing to return to work and start doing other things that don't require me to plan around hospital hospital appointments.

I have a few things to update you all on...

My hair and eyelashes are growing/have grown!!!

(This photo was taken today)

The documentary I did that teensie tiny bit of filming for mentioned here, is on BBC Three at 9pm on Wednesday. It is all about the founder of Coppafeel! Kris Hallenga and it is going to be an eye opener for sure. I would love as many of you as possible to have a watch. She is one amazing lady and she has a story that needs to be heard.

Me and Kris on the day of filming

I have also written my first ever piece for a Women's glossy magazine in the June edition of Cosmpolitan UK (available to buy in May). I am beyond excited to see my very own words in print in my favourite magazine, a dream of mine for a long time.

On October 1st I am going to be taking part in The Show for Breast Cancer Care. This is a fashion show where all the models have had breast cancer. It will completely put me out of my comfort zone but I think this is a good thing. I am really excited about it and can't wait to meet the other ladies and gents taking part.

Since January I have also had a lifestyle overhaul. I have cut out dairy products from my diet (apart from the odd cup of tea and square of dark chocolate, I am only human after all) and have drastically reduced my sugar intake and I feel SO much healthier. I have more energy, my skin is clearer and I am finally losing my chemo/tamoxifen weight. I plan to do a blog post all about what I have learned about nutrition for cancer patients soon. There is a lot of information surrounding the whole "if you have breast cancer should you eat dairy?" topic and whilst I do not believe that every breast cancer patient should remove dairy from their diet, as my tumour was hormone receptive it is just a decision I decided to make. I try to walk 15 miles a week as well, gradually building up my fitness.

I eat things like this...

Dairy free berry smoothie

Porridge with almond milk, blueberries and cinnamon.

Quinoa with red pepper and greens.

I am still obsessed with all things beauty. I am really enjoying having longer hair to style now and really hope to have a side fringe by my birthday in June. I have lots of new favourite products to tell you all about so I guess that is now two blog posts I owe you?

Finally, I have a little favour to ask you all. My 60 year old Dad has rather madly decided to run the London Marathon this year having never run before in his life. He is raising money for Coppafeel! and Breakthrough Breast Cancer and the funds will be split equally between them. If any of you would like to sponsor him please click on the just giving link here. Both of these charities do such great work and any support would be very welcome, even if it is just £1.

So I leave you all for now as I must get ready for the hospital to have some Herceptin but I promise to write again as soon as I can.

I took this photo the week I was diagnosed. I love it.

Love you long time. X

Spa days, important dates and that festive feeling...

Hello everybody.

I thought I would write a quick post to tell you all about a spa day that I attended a couple of weeks ago. Rock on Divas, run by the lovely Gloria, is a day aimed at women who have finished cancer (or any other illness) treatment and are looking for a way to re-establish their health life balance that some women feel they have lost during treatment.

On arrival at The Spa Dolphin Square everyone was greeted with a hug and then given a name tag. We were then all invited to share as much or as little of our story as we liked with the rest of the group. Once all the introductions were out of the way, the day began with a juicing tutorial from Gloria who explained the benefits of juicing and gave a demonstration. Afterwards we all went for a healthy but delicious lunch where everybody shared stories and laughs.

The wonderful Jennifer Young then gave a skincare and make up workshop educating us all on what was actually in our favourite beauty products. She makes a bespoke skin care range that is made with 100% organic and natural ingredients. There is even a line designed especially for people under going cancer treatment. You can find out more about Jennifer and her skin care range here.

After another glass of juice we all got changed into comfy clothing and went to a yoga class which was aimed at beginners and was incredibly relaxing. The day finished with a beauty treatment. You could choose a massage or a facial. I went for the facial and it was AMAZING, the 25 minutes of bliss left my skin positively glowing and I made the trip home (with my lovely goody bag) on a busy train with NO make up on.

The best part of the day was meeting other ladies who had been through a similar thing to me. Everybody was supportive and kind and I had a lovely time. To find out more about Gloria, her spa days and retreats click here.

Me and the other lovely ladies who attended the spa day

Apart from treating myself to spa days I have also baked a Christmas cake with my lovely friend Jane (Mary Berry eat your heart out).

The cake before it entered the oven

Oh and there is the small matter of my one year Cancerversary which was on the 23^rd November. I cannot believe it has been one whole year since I was diagnosed and what a year it has been. I am so glad it is mostly over now and for those of you reading this who are currently undergoing treatment I hope that I can reassure you that times can get better. I am a happier person now than I was before treatment, I have a whole head of hair (even if it is unbelievably unruly) and I am hoping that soon the last year will just be a nasty memory that I can lock away in some far corner of my mind.

I am unbelievably excited for the festive season so excited in fact, you might as well start calling me Mrs Clause. I cannot wait to snuggle up watching Christmas movies and start wrapping presents. I pretty much hum carols in my sleep and the prospect of a New Year and a new start is also extremely appealing. I plan on making 2014 my year no question. 

That's all from me for now.

Love you long time. X

Radiotherapy weeks four and five...

Hello everybody, I am so sorry for taking so long to blog. I wasn’t very well but now I am back and ready to update you all.

I have now finished radiotherapy. WOOHOO! The main side effect I have found is tiredness but it really isn’t that bad and is definitely manageable. My skin is red and apparently will keep ‘cooking’ for the next two weeks but aqueous cream helps to soothe it. I have been wearing loose clothing and avoided extremes of temperature (luke warm showers are not much fun) in an attempt to minimise irritation to the area. So far so good. 

I won't have to see this sign for a while...

 

I celebrated finishing radiotherapy with a cosy night in. I whacked on a layer of my favourite face mask (Eve Lom rescue mask), lit my favourite scented candle and painted my nails. Rock ‘n Roll I know!

I did make up for it on Saturday night though as I went out to celebrate a friends 21^st birthday. I went for a wet hair look. What do you think?

I have spent some of my spare time making Christmas cards to sell at a Christmas Fair to raise money for Coppafeel! and Breakthrough breast cancer.  

What next? 

Now that I have pretty much finished treatment I am faced with this massive question. I still have to finish my course of Herceptin and I will be taking Tamoxifen tablets for the next five years but really I am pretty much done treatment wise. This of course means that really the 'naughty disease' part of my blog is pretty much done and dusted. I have really enjoyed blogging and as long as people want to keep reading about what I have been up to I will keep writing. I am sure that I will still have a few breast cancer related things to talk about in months to come. I have also thinking about starting a new lifestyle blog would any of you read it if I did?

Let me know what you think,

Love you long time. X

  

Radiotherapy week two...

Hello hello, me again.

I am happy to say that radiotherapy is still going OK. I have slightly pink and sore skin now but so far I am not too tired at all. I have been religiously applying aqueous cream twice a day in an attempt to protect my skin as much as possible. 

The time I have had away from the hospital I have spent writing away working on the book. The online shopping bug has bitten me again (obviously this is not my fault). I bought a couple of new dresses, one of which I will wear when I pop up to London for the night on Tuesday (read all about why in next weeks post).

The most exciting news that I have for you all is that I HAD MY FIRST HAIRCUT since my hair has grown back. The lovely Sarah from HAC snipped away at my fluffy, wispy ends and transformed them into a styled crop. The last time I had been to the hairdressers was when this happened. This time instead of leaving with tears in my eyes I left with a big smile and some advice on how to control my often crazy locks. They really are crazy locks too, my hair has grown back thicker than ever it is also fluffy, unruly and never does what I want it to. The ends have a slight curl to them, which is strange for me as I had fairly straight hair before but the colour is the same. I can’t wait for it to grow a bit longer so that I can do more things with it. 

My weapon of choice to tame my locks.

I have recently purchased some new lovely things for my bedroom (all from Primark).  

New star print bed linen

New LOVE light

The weather warnings have me slightly worried about my journey to the hospital tomorrow morning. I am not sure what happens if the roads are blocked by fallen trees or if the conditions are too bad to drive. I guess I will just have to wait and see what happens and cross that bridge when I come to it. However I am hoping the people over at Weather HQ have made a mistake and the storm won’t be as bad as they think.

Love you long time. X

Radiotherapy week one...

Hello to all my new friends. I now have a really great following abroad so here I am attempting to say hello in some other languages…

I have had so many lovely comments and messages from you all recently and I just want to say a big fat thank you. It’s really nice to hear from people that read and enjoy my blog and it always makes my smile bigger (if that is even possible). It is also amazing that this little old blog has managed to reach so many people. The thing that really makes all of this rubbishness worth while is hearing from people and learning that they have gained something from the blog.

I have now completed my first week of radiotherapy and so far so good. I am yet to have any side effects. Apparently this is normal and it will take a couple of weeks before the side effects present themselves. Of course I am hoping that I will be the lucky patient that gets away relatively side effect free but I guess I will just have to wait and see what happens. The main pain is having to spend two hours travelling each day but it is a small price to pay to zap any naughty cells that may still be left behind.

I had to laugh at the fact I get my very own hospital gown to keep for the next five weeks. As I am sure you can imagine it is very sexy. My new best friend is aqueous cream which I apply twice a day to try and keep my skin behaving throughout treatment. Luckily the hospital provides me with the stuff so I should have plenty.

As well as spending a lot of time travelling too and from the hospital everyday I have been a busy lady doing other things. I have made two radio and one television appearance which is really great for helping me to raise awareness that younger women are at risk of breast cancer too. 

Don’t forget to check out my friends over at Coppafeel! too, they do some REALLY great work.

My hair is finally getting its grow on! I managed to properly (well kind of) part it today. Check it out..

What sort of things have I been wearing?

BOOK talk has been taking up a lot of my time recently which has been really exciting. I am crossing all my fingers and toes and sometimes even my eyes hoping that something will materialise from all of this. What do you all think, would you be interested in reading my book? Let me know your thoughts, either email me or leave me a comment. I would love to hear what you think. 

That's all from me for now folks. Have a great weekend.

Love you long time. X

The other side of the big C...

Hi everyone, sorry for my absence from the blogging world. I don’t have an excuse other than the fact that for once in my life I haven’t really had much to say! *cue sniggers* Life has just been ticking along really. I got struck down with a nasty chest and throat infection last week which resulted in a few days in bed and yet more antibiotics but I managed to stay out of hospital which is a big bonus.

I am aware that as I write this I have a few new followers thanks to the lovely people at Fabulous magazine. I wrote an article that made a guest appearance in their mag a couple of Sundays ago *see below.

I had an overwhelming response from some readers and lots of lovely emails and tweets. I apologise for not replying to you all personally. I do my best, but please know that I really do love hearing from you and I massively appreciate the support you all give me.

What else have I been up to? Well I have had some lovely hospital appointments including some Herceptin drugs and CT scans/radio planning funness. I have also been spending some time with friends doing normal stuff like going to the cinema and having girls nights and do you know what? It has been great. I even did some nice make up…

I have lots of fun stuff coming up to look forward to before radio including a couple of trips to London and one mystery weekend away! In fact I am so excited I could burst.

One of the most important things that I have been doing of late is reflecting. I have finally had some time to myself and now that my brain isn’t fogged up from various drugs I can just sit and think. Sometimes all I think is woah. I mean WOAH. Seriously, this year has been crazy. I think when you are going through active treatment you don’t really let yourself think/dwell too much, well I didn’t anyway, you just sort of get on with things. It’s only when I’ve started feeling well again that I have really realised just how unwell I was and how much I have been through. I mean don’t get me wrong the scars I see everyday are a constant reminder but it’s only recently that I have really begun to understand what they mean and what they stand for. I know they will fade but they will never go away completely and I think that’s the thing about having cancer, even though you may be in remission for now there is always that fear niggling away in the corner of your brain making you think will it come back? Over time the worries fade but they never really go away.

Don’t get me wrong I am all for positive thinking but I think it is important for those of you lucky enough not to have met a Kenneth of your own to understand that it’s not just the physical side of having cancer that’s the problem, mentally it is exhausting too. Physically I may be mostly better but realistically mentally I think it could take a bit longer. This is not easy for me to admit. But the truth is that I am still a little bit scared. I may even be a little bit scared forever. However I have come to realise that this is normal and I am not the only one that will have a few worries from time to time. Not many people really talk about the mental side effects of cancer but I just wanted anyone else in the same situation as me to know that they are not alone in their thoughts and really it is OK to talk about it. What is it they say? A problem shared is a problem halved. So here I am sharing a problem with you and d’ya know what it really does feel a bit better.

 

In other news I am sure you will all be excited to know that I am now finally able to have baths.

I have once again been on some lovely walks.

And I have two new roommates. Two spiders living on my ceiling. George and Harry. Don’t worry they aren’t the big fat hairy kind of spider they are the thin whispery kind. We’ve made friends and the deal is that they are allowed to stay there (I am a bit too scared to try and capture them plus I can’t actually reach them) as long as they don’t come down to my level. My only worry is if George is actually a Georgina and then they have babies. Actually I’m also a bit frightened they’ll tell their mates they’ve found a safe place to live where they aren’t being hunted for once and then I’ll have some sort of spider clan living in my bedroom. But for now they seem to have listened to my demands and are staying put and there are no signs of baby spiders as of yet. This time last year I would have been on the phone frantically trying to find someone to get rid of them for me so I actually feel quite triumphant at my bravery. There is also a Cedric living in the top corner of my shower we have a similar deal, he stays where he is and he’s alright but if he comes anywhere near me whilst I’m in the shower then we’ve got a problem. 

I saw the most amazing rainbow the other day so I thought I would share it with you.

That’s all from me this week folks.

Love you long time. X

My doctors have got a RAD new idea...

Hello my lovely readers. How are you all? I hope you are enjoying the bank holiday weekend. I bet you are all wondering what I have been up to? Well let me fill you in…

My wounds have been healing nicely which is really great. I still have a couple of dressings on but it won’t be long until I am dressing free (*I hope) and finally able to have a bath. I also have a lot more energy that I have been putting to good use by going for some nice walks in the sunshine. I had a dose of Herceptin at the hospital that went fine and I have done the odd bit of writing. As you can see I haven’t really had a very eventful week, well I hadn’t until yesterday. Yesterday I had an appointment with my oncologists. This appointment lasted nearly and hour and a half. In this appointment I was told I would need radiotherapy. EURGH. This was not part of the plan. I thought I was going to avoid being zapped. It turns out the universe had other ideas.

As if this latest blow wasn’t enough to ruin my week I then got told that my course of radio would last for five weeks. Most people are treated for three weeks but I, being the special person I am, get to have an extra two weeks because guess what I AM SO YOUNG (*if one more doctor tells me this I think I might spontaneously combust). Seriously I do realise that I was pretty unlucky to get cancer at my age I don’t need doctors to remind me of this too. My bleedin' age has a lot to answer for you know, it often means I get the bum end of the deal. I was given the strongest chemo and the most radical surgery so I probably should have guessed radiotherapy would be no different. Silly me thinking I had gotten away without having any.

SO on hearing the action plan I made a deal with my Docs, I told them that they had to wait until after I had been to the Cosmo Blog Awards before they could start frying me. I reckon that is only fair don’t you? It means my wounds have a bit longer to fully heal and I get to have a good few more weeks of feeling normal and having some fun before my energy gets temporarily zapped away from me again. If I am honest the thing that is bumming me out the most about this news is the fact that I won’t be able to have a hot bath during and for a little while after the treatment. I still haven’t had a bath since the day before my surgery and I MISS THEM. It seems cruel that not long after I am finally able to have a bath they will once again be taken away from me. Having radio also means I get to have my first tattoo (*sorry Snoop Doggy Rob, but it is strictly for medical reasons only)! It will be a couple of tiny dots on my chest and under my arm but hey it’s a tattoo all the same!

You probably want to know why the hospital have changed their minds about giving me radiotherapy. There was a slight mix up in the beginning and I should never have been told that I wasn’t going to need it. Unfortunately my oncologist was away when I was deciding about surgery and so my surgeon consulted with other doctors and wires got crossed. I had been told radio could wreck my reconstruction results so when I was told that I wouldn’t need it I decided to have the big op, get it all done at once and reduce my scarring. After surgery I had an appointment with my actual oncologist and he started to talk to me about radio. I told him that I was told I wouldn’t need it and he wasn’t impressed. He said he would talk to some other specialists and then make a decision.

My oncology team have now decided that because my original tumour (Kenneth) was so ‘naughty’ (AKA aggressive) and chemo didn’t completely kill him, there may be a few naughty cells left. Therefore they want to be safe and give me strong treatment. They also never found out for sure that it hadn’t spread to my nodes so they want to zap them too! I am all for being safe and so although this is in no way the decision I wanted I understand the need for it. Like most cancer treatments there are some negatives to radio, these include the fact that it may very well ruin the great cosmetic result my surgeon worked so hard to achieve and it will probably make me very tired both during treatment and for a while afterwards.  BUT HEY I’ve been through worse so although this is a bit of a pain I’m hoping I’ll be able to handle it. I think that really my doctors just like me so much they want to see me more ;-).

So there you go, that’s what has been happening in my life recently. I didn’t want to have radio, I thought I was finished with the nasty bits of my treatment and I was looking forward to finally being able to escape from the hospital for a while. Now I have to spend a whole lot more time there but I would rather spend time there now than have to spend time there again later on in life! The two hours of driving everyday will be a pain and any holiday plans I had have to be put on hold for now BUT I still get to go to the Blog Awards AND I can hopefully have a lot of fun now whilst there is still (*fingers crossed) the odd bit of sunshine left in the UK.

I completely agree with Dolly Parton who once said "the way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain".

Love you long time. X