Decisions, mystery gifts and eyebrow/lash hints

Hello hello.

I have had a crazy few days. After my good news on Thursday I had a lovely weekend with my Auntie Janet and sister Naomi, who came to stay with me and Madre. We laughed, we shopped, we ate yummy things and we spent lots of quality time together!

Cream tea, YUM.

On Monday night I had a girls night in with some friends I used to work with. We laughed too much, ate yummy ice cream, watched some TV and painted our nails.

Chloe, me and Harrie

My summery choice of colours

Tuesday arrived with a bang. I had a hospital appointment to discuss my surgery options. I have a date for surgery now, Monday May 20th. It is almost impossible for me to make the decision about what surgery to have. I am terrible at making my own decisions. I struggle to chose what breakfast cereal to eat in the mornings, choosing what A Levels to take caused me many a problem at school. How am I supposed to make a decision about what surgery to have? I don't want to make the decision. What if I make the wrong choice, it could change my life forever. I wish the doctors would just tell me what to do. There are pros and cons associated with all the options and it's up to me to weigh them up and make a decision. Lose the lump, lose the boob, lose both boobs or lose the lump and then both boobs a bit later on? In an ideal world I wouldn't need surgery at all. Of all the things I knew I was going to have to face when Kenneth came along, it has always been surgery that scared me the most. I don't know why. Surgery removes Kenneth which is great but it also removes things that I want to keep. I have only known my boobs for a few years and I'm just not sure that I am ready to say goodbye to them in just a months time.

I've been wearing my new favourite slippers a lot in order to try and help me make a decision and to reassure myself that it will all be OK in the end. It has to be.

 

I am currently obsessed with the ITV drama Broadchurch, if you haven't seen it you need to get on ITV player now. TV wise I have also been watching the new series of Made in Chelsea and Game of Thrones and I am loving both of them! My film recommendations for this week are Argo (which I loved, even though the ending was intensely stressful) and Pitch Perfect (I genuinely laughed out loud, plus anything with Rebel Wilson in is great).

An amazing present arrived for me in the post today, but it didn't come with a gift card so I have no idea who I am supposed to be thanking?! Please come forward whoever you are. I love it and really want to say thank you!

LOVE this present thank you!

In other news, I have been experimenting with ways to disguise my thinning eyelashes/brows. I bought some individual fake eyelashes and got to work. What do you think?

Before and after.

My tool kit consisted of:

• Benefit brow zings kit in light
• MAC eyeshadow in embark
• MAC 208 angled brow brush
• Diorshow Art Pen
• MAC eyeshadow in scene
• Kiss Haute Couture individual false eyelashes (can buy in boots)

I used the angled brush and the shadow in the Benefit set to fill in the gaps in my brows. Then I used the embark MAC shadow to make hair like flicks in the more patchy areas at the front of my brows. My eyelashes are currently quite short and patchy, I tried a full set of false lashes and they struggled to stay put as they were not supported enough by my own lashes. This time I opted for the lighter individual lashes which I carefully placed along my lash line using tweezers. It took much longer than I thought to apply them but I think the result was worth all of the fiddly handy work. Once the glue had dried I used the Dior liquid liner on my upper lid to disguise any glue marks and give more definition to my eye. A cotton bud dipped in eye make up remover helped to correct any mistakes. I then used the MAC brow brush and the scene shadow to lightly define my lower lid as I do not have enough lashes to use mascara. Normally I would also use a gold eye shadow in the inner corners of my eyes to open them up but my lack of eyelashes means stray bits of glitter etc often end up irritating my eyes so I have had to skip this step.

The end result!

Removing the lashes was quite simple. Soak a cotton pad in eye make up remover press on to lids for a good 30 seconds and the lashes simply come away with the cotton pad.

I am currently in the process of writing my first feature for a magazine. I am beyond excited to be given this opportunity and I will of course let you all know when it is due to come out so you can all run out and grab a copy! I might also be doing a few columns for another magazine shortly afterwards which I am keeping all my finger and toes crossed for. I have now designated a specific bobble hat to be my 'writing hat'. I really am becoming such a loser. Never mind, it makes me happy. I am seriously beginning to dream that writing/journalism could be a serious career option for me. Who knows what the future holds I don't but I do know that nothing will stop me chasing my dreams now.

Love you long time. X

Hospital stays and Special days

Hello everyone, firstly I would like to welcome all my lovely new followers. It has been SO great hearing from you. I'm sorry I don't get the time to reply to you all. BUT I LOVE reading your messages. They really help lift my mood, so thank you.

Since my last post i've been on a bit of a rollercoaster. On Friday I ended up in hospital with a temperature. After some fun spent hours in A and E the doctors decided to keep me in overnight. Some antibiotics and fluids sorted me out and I was eventually released on Saturday afternoon. FUN TIMES.

Looking 'good' from my hospital bed...

 The good news is I am now feeling much better! Even though I was forced to eat this before the doctor would discharge me...

'pasta'

On Sunday I was lucky enough to attend the beautiful Honor Jayne's Christening. The service was beautiful (even though I had to make a run for it half way through to be sick *classy).

It's amazing what some fake hair, fake eyelashes, an eyebrow kit and some lippie can do for a girl's appearance...

My nails

Honor Jayne on her special day

Over the last couple of days something amazing has happened. Some very lovely celebs have retweeted links to my little blog and as a result I have been contacted by some truly amazing and lovely people. It has been so humbling and has made me feel so special. I cannot thank you all enough for your support and love. I am about to reach out to my inner secretarial skills and start replying to some of your messages, bear with me as it might take a while...

Baldy kisses from the new secretarial me!

The most important thing to note from all of this, is that now we are all helping to raise awareness!! Younger women really do get breast cancer too and it is SO important to me to get all of them checking their boobs. Early diagnosis is key to saving lives, as us younger ladies unfortunately often get a much more aggressive form of the disease because it feeds off of our hormones. So please help me spread the word. Tell your daughters, sisters, friends, aunties, neices, even stop strangers on the street and tell them too (*OK you don't have to do that one really) but seriously lets spread the word and save some lives!

Love you long time. X

I told you pigs can fly...

Good news... A mixture of new tablets and a new found love for water has definitely improved my chemo experience this time around! As you all know from my last few posts the second round of the toxic nasties got me real good. So naturally I was a little apprehensive about round 3. I had read before about the importance of drinking LOTS of water the day before, the day of and the day after chemo. So this time around I decided to up my game. Let me tell you every middle of the night toilet trip was worth it. Drinking loads of water really did help me. I felt way less nauseous this time and my arm has been less painful. Result! I can't pretend I have felt wonderful but there is a definite improvement in my rate of recovery from last time. 

I have been squished and squashed with love this week and I am NOT complaining. I am all about positivity, laughter and love. I do believe it makes such a difference, not only to my mood and how I am dealing with everything but also to how other people cope around me. Kindness, especially from strangers, has made my week and put many a smile on my face. I have been so well looked after by friends and family and I have even got the odd treat from strangers too! 

What have I been wearing this week whilst feeling poorly sick? I may feel rubbish but that does not mean I am living in 5 year old track suits from school and leggings with holes in (*yes alright Madre, well not everyday any way). Some days I do feel well enough to get out of my pyjamas...

In other news, feeling poorly and extreme boredom has given me time to address the main beauty issue I've had this week....

Dry flaky nails, cuticles and hands. 

I am currently working my way through tubes and tubes of hand cream and nail oil.  At the moment, Vaseline healthy hands and nail cream has been my cream of choice. It absorbs quickly and is not too greasy but I do find my hands are still left a little dry. My smell and tastes change during chemo but luckily I like this smell ALOT (unlike some other hand creams) and it doesn't turn my stomach (BONUS). I'm also on the hunt for a good nail oil. In order to disguise my ugly nails I decided to go for full on bling just because can.  Why not? It also makes me happy every time I look at them. 

I have a very exciting few days ahead. My baby sister is coming to stay for the weekend (*cue happy dance) and on Monday there is a big fundraiser at The Winking Prawn to raise money for everyone running the Bath Half Marathon in aid of Coppafeel. I am beyond excited for this! Fingers crossed we raise LOADS of money!!! 

And finally proof pigs really can fly....

My necklace says so!

Love you long time. X