27 Mar 2013

Birthdays, fun days and hospital bays...

Hello everyone,

Just a quick blog post before the next round of toxic nasties tomorrow (5/6 *Wa hoooo). I want to start this post by wishing Madre a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Unfortunately we had to get up very early today and spend all morning in hospital whilst I had my second loading dose of Herceptin. I also woke up this morning not feeling one hundred percent. This is not ideal and I really hope I am just tired and this little tickle of a cough doesn't get any worse. So poor Madre has not had the best of birthdays, especially as I cannot say I have been the best of company! I did however manage to bake her a cake last night. We just had a little birthday tea party and I'm happy to announce that the cake went down a treat (*phew, never made a coffee and walnut cake before).

Over the last few days I have been out for some lovely meals, seen some friends and been to the cinema. Nothing that exciting really, but I have had a nice time. I also took my pink wig on a little outing and two strangers complimented my hair colour!

Recently I seem to have found laughs in some, weird and wonderful ways. ***Be warned most of the following stories involve toilet related humour.

I mentioned I went to the cinema recently, after the film ended I went to the Ladies. I went to wash my hands and put my rucksack down on the side. As I returned from using the hand-drier to collect my bag I discovered, much to my amusement, that I had left the stupid thing under the automated soap dispenser and it was COVERED in pink, sloppy, sickly smelling soap. Great. Well done Laura. Who's a clever girl?

Same day, different toilet (it's drinking all this water in preparation for Thursday's toxic nasties). This time I was in a massive Tesco. As I went to leave the ladies, a woman in one of the cubicle genuinely said OUT LOUD 'aaah, that feels better'. No word of a lie, she announced to the whole bathroom that after emptying her bowels she now felt better. GROSS. I did NOT want/need to know this. Then, as I was walking out of the Ladies past the Gents, I saw an old man trying to take his trolley into the Gents with him. He couldn't fit it through the door. I think he was a bit confused! I wanted to laugh until I saw that the only thing he had in said trolley was his walking stick. Why he felt the need to take both the trolley and the walking stick into the toilet with him I will never know, but it made me feel a bit sad for him.

Today, as I mentioned earlier I had my second bout of Herceptin.

I also had the misfortune of being sat in between two mentally challenged patients. One insisted on telling me, every nurse, every other patient and every accompanying family member about his diarrhoea. I mean, really? Of all the side effects to chat about to people you don't know he chose that one? So I spent nearly 4 hours listening to poo chat. Fabulous. Just what I wanted. I forgot to bring with me a book/magazine/iPad/any form of entertainment and so I had no escape from him. To my left was an elderly gentleman who's wife had dropped him off for treatment and then once he was all set up, left him to it, who also wanted to talk to me. At the beginning I felt sorry for him because he must of been a little lonely, but after 2 hours of talking to him, I understood why his wife had disappeared. Unfortunately he, not unlike the poo man, liked to tell the same story over and over and over and over again. Normally, I could have coped with this and would have felt a bit sorry for him, however I really wasn't feeling well. Originally I had planned to use my hospital visit to take advantage of the reclining chairs and have a little nap. To make matters worse I couldn't even call upon Madre for moral support as she was hooked on whatever book she, unlike me, had remembered to bring with her and as it was her birthday I thought I'd let her get away with it!

In other news, this is what I have been wearing this week..

Toxic nasties tomorrow, can't believe I only have two left. Soon I hope to do a few posts on chemotherapy tips, beauty products I recommend for use during treatment and essentials to have to hand before starting treatment. Until then...

Love you long time. X

24 Mar 2013

Sunshine and giggles

Hello everyone,

I've been feeling SO much better this week. I've actually felt like a human. WAHOO. I've been trying to make the most of this. Believe it or not there was actually some SUNSHINE in Devon at the beginning of the week and so I dusted off my trainers and took myself on a couple of walks and got some much needed vitamin D and exercise...

 I was feeling so bright and cheerful I even painted my nails to co-ordinate with my laces too!

Apart from walking I also had a lovely dinner with some friends. It was really lovely to have a catch up and a gossip. We laughed A LOT. Sometimes I forget how nice it is to laugh. I spend a fair amount of time in my own company and although I often find myself funny, it was really nice to laugh with friends.

What i've been wearing this week...

I've had lots of time to think this week. I've been thinking about all the things I want to do when i'm better. I seem to spend quite a lot of time thinking about this. I've even made a little list in my head. Things on this list include:

  • go on holiday to any of the following places... Paris, the Caribbean (or anywhere hot), Las Vegas, Ibiza.
  • party with friends (stay up later than midnight, drink cocktails, dance, giggle).
  • achieve something other than Kenneth fighting (I really want to complete a challenge to raise money for charity).
  • sort out my career.
  • go to a festival (*can you believe i've never been?).
It may not seem like that great of a list but I'm working on it, along with my addiction to tea.

It seems crazy to me that this time last year I had just got back from a month of traveling with one of my best friends Izzy (*Bella to me). We had such a great time and I cannot wait to get away somewhere nice again soon!

On the right is me, complete with hair.

All week I've been having pain in my nails. At first I thought maybe I was imagining it, but after removing my nail varnish today it turns out I wasn't. My nails are going black at the nail bed (attractive or what?). I had been warned about this side effect but rather naively thought it wouldn't happen to me because I try to take such great care of my nails. I use nail oil, hand cream, protective base coats etc. Nope, Kenneth has gone and got me again, but did I let him win? Don't be silly, I decided to disguise said ugliness with some coral and gold glittery loveliness instead. Ha, take that Kenneth! Now when I look at my hands I don't feel angry at Kenneth but proud of my mad nail painting skillzzz.

Ouchies, poorly black thumb!

New glittery nails

I haven't really got much else to report I'm afraid, so I shall leave you all with a big fat kiss.

Love you long time. X

18 Mar 2013

Hospital stays and Special days

Hello everyone, firstly I would like to welcome all my lovely new followers. It has been SO great hearing from you. I'm sorry I don't get the time to reply to you all. BUT I LOVE reading your messages. They really help lift my mood, so thank you.

Since my last post i've been on a bit of a rollercoaster. On Friday I ended up in hospital with a temperature. After some fun spent hours in A and E the doctors decided to keep me in overnight. Some antibiotics and fluids sorted me out and I was eventually released on Saturday afternoon. FUN TIMES.

Looking 'good' from my hospital bed...

 The good news is I am now feeling much better! Even though I was forced to eat this before the doctor would discharge me...


On Sunday I was lucky enough to attend the beautiful Honor Jayne's Christening. The service was beautiful (even though I had to make a run for it half way through to be sick *classy).

It's amazing what some fake hair, fake eyelashes, an eyebrow kit and some lippie can do for a girl's appearance...

My nails
Honor Jayne on her special day

Over the last couple of days something amazing has happened. Some very lovely celebs have retweeted links to my little blog and as a result I have been contacted by some truly amazing and lovely people. It has been so humbling and has made me feel so special. I cannot thank you all enough for your support and love. I am about to reach out to my inner secretarial skills and start replying to some of your messages, bear with me as it might take a while...

Baldy kisses from the new secretarial me!

The most important thing to note from all of this, is that now we are all helping to raise awareness!! Younger women really do get breast cancer too and it is SO important to me to get all of them checking their boobs. Early diagnosis is key to saving lives, as us younger ladies unfortunately often get a much more aggressive form of the disease because it feeds off of our hormones. So please help me spread the word. Tell your daughters, sisters, friends, aunties, neices, even stop strangers on the street and tell them too (*OK you don't have to do that one really) but seriously lets spread the word and save some lives!

Love you long time. X

14 Mar 2013

The evolution of a new species...

Hello strangers. I'm sorry for my lack of blogging but I've been busy recovering from the latest round of toxic nasties, which unfortunately went and got me real good. Today, for the first time in 7 days, I finally shed my pyjamas and replaced them with clothes. Actual clothes. Yes, I know this may not seem like an achievement for the average mortal, but for me this was a big leap along the road to recovery. I also left the house for the first time too! I walked to a friends house, yes I may only have sat on a sofa there instead, but I still LEFT THE HOUSE!!! Let me fill you in on what I have been up to since my last post...

Before the last round of the toxic nasties I had my first herceptin treatment which was fine.

I spent a lovely 9hrs in the hospital but thanks to some great company and day time television the day went pretty quick, even if we were delayed starting because of phlebitis in my arm. My only real complaint stems from my neighbouring patient's choice of lunchtime refreshment. A hospital prepared prawn sandwich (bleurghhhh as if I didn't feel sick enough already) and a packet of crisps, which she ate more loudly than I ever thought was humanly possible, EVER.

On Thursday evening I debuted my brown wig at a fundraiser for the local pre-school. I had the best time ever mainly due to the company I kept and the evenings entertainment (provided by a fellow guest's drunken behaviour). The less said about it the better, however let me just say it involved a napkin folding competition.

The next day involved more of this..

And then the next week all I did was this..

Although even that might be a slight lie, as in fact I only made it to the sofa yesterday!
The toxic nasties really did get me good. I told everyone that I was no longer human and had actually evolved into an EMUPO. For those of you unfamiliar with the creature that is the emupo, an emupo is a cross between an emu and a hippo. Why had I evolved into this spectacular creature you may ask? Well, I was so tired I effectively lost the use of my arms (so felt like an emu) and my bones hurt so much I could barely move (like a wallowing hippo). Hence the emupo was born. Madre was acting Zoo keeper and kept me well watered and drugged, and life sort of just plodded on until finally yesterday I was able to make a move from my pen (bedroom), downstairs to the sofa. Madre went back to work and in came my new nurse in the form of my friend Jess. She followed Madre's written instructions including "make her drink at least one drink every 2 hours, no matter what she says" and we got through the entire Season 1 box set of Homeland, which by the way is WELL worth a watch for those of you who haven't seen it.

In other news, I am having serious hair withdrawal symptoms and when I say serious I mean it. I have proper issues and major hair envy. Tonight I spent the entire duration of bath time fashioning hair styles out of bubbles. Yes, that's right I made bubble wigs. I have never pretended to be normal. Please don't judge me. I'm blaming the chemo messing with my brain.

Love you long time. X

5 Mar 2013

Bath Half and hospital updates..

Hello hello hello, who likes the new look of my blog? Please say you do, it took me hours and hours. I am no computer wiz and therefore I feel very proud of the new look! What do you all think?

I feel like I haven’t stopped this week. But when I look back on what I’ve done I haven’t really achieved anything. I mean apart from furthering my shopping addiction, writing, catching up with friends and loved ones and mourning the start of my eyebrow hair loss. Yes, unfortunately it’s true my eyebrow hairs have decided enough is enough, they want out. I can’t say I blame them, the toxic nasties are not exactly fun. I have a few bald patches but still enough to fill in the gaps. My eyelashes seem to be hanging on in there, fingers crossed I keep them. That really would make me happy, but I’m not holding my breath.

Nails this week...

What i've been wearing...

I went to Bath on Sunday to watch the half marathon and support my friends and Madre whilst they ran. It was really great fun. Everyone did so well. The atmosphere was amazing. I hope next year I will be in a position to run myself! Here are some photos…

The supporters!
The boys before the race!

Bella on the look out for the runners
She found them! There goes Mark and Laurence!
Go Madre Go!!
Potentially my favourite runners of the day!

Even Honor came to support everyone!
What an amazing day, plus I got to meet Radio One DJ Greg James and say hello to Kris (the legend that started Coppafeel!)...

In other news, I had a hospital appointment on Friday, it went well and I had positive feedback for once. My head scan results came back clear (*woop) and my MRI showed Kenneth is shrinking (*in your face Kenneth). I’m changing chemo drugs on Friday and have no idea what to expect. I haven’t heard great things about Taxotere. The massive increase in steroids I have to take frightens me a little bit too. I know I have to take the tablets to stop me having an allergic reaction to the chemo but 8 steroid tablets a day seems excessive especially when I read the side effects section of the info leaflet. ‘Moon face’ was my absolute favourite one on the list. In fact it may be my favourite that I have ever read. I have no idea what it means but if I get it I will be taking photos LOTS of photos. Maybe one night you will all look up to the sky and there will be my big, bald head floating amongst the stars. Who knows? I don’t, but I’m sure I will find out.

Today I went to a Look Good Feel Better workshop at the hospital. It was lovely, even though I wasn’t feeling 100% and Kenneth had just been poked by a 6inch needle looking to insert a metal marker. I met some very inspiring ladies and got some lovely products to experiment with. I have a 9hr day in hospital tomorrow and then another bout of the toxic nasties on Friday. Will try to blog on Thursday but if I don’t then there may be a little wait for the next post but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you all!

Love you long time. X