17 Apr 2013

Decisions, mystery gifts and eyebrow/lash hints

Hello hello.

I have had a crazy few days. After my good news on Thursday I had a lovely weekend with my Auntie Janet and sister Naomi, who came to stay with me and Madre. We laughed, we shopped, we ate yummy things and we spent lots of quality time together!

Cream tea, YUM.

On Monday night I had a girls night in with some friends I used to work with. We laughed too much, ate yummy ice cream, watched some TV and painted our nails.

Chloe, me and Harrie

My summery choice of colours

Tuesday arrived with a bang. I had a hospital appointment to discuss my surgery options. I have a date for surgery now, Monday May 20th. It is almost impossible for me to make the decision about what surgery to have. I am terrible at making my own decisions. I struggle to chose what breakfast cereal to eat in the mornings, choosing what A Levels to take caused me many a problem at school. How am I supposed to make a decision about what surgery to have? I don't want to make the decision. What if I make the wrong choice, it could change my life forever. I wish the doctors would just tell me what to do. There are pros and cons associated with all the options and it's up to me to weigh them up and make a decision. Lose the lump, lose the boob, lose both boobs or lose the lump and then both boobs a bit later on? In an ideal world I wouldn't need surgery at all. Of all the things I knew I was going to have to face when Kenneth came along, it has always been surgery that scared me the most. I don't know why. Surgery removes Kenneth which is great but it also removes things that I want to keep. I have only known my boobs for a few years and I'm just not sure that I am ready to say goodbye to them in just a months time.

I've been wearing my new favourite slippers a lot in order to try and help me make a decision and to reassure myself that it will all be OK in the end. It has to be.

I am currently obsessed with the ITV drama Broadchurch, if you haven't seen it you need to get on ITV player now. TV wise I have also been watching the new series of Made in Chelsea and Game of Thrones and I am loving both of them! My film recommendations for this week are Argo (which I loved, even though the ending was intensely stressful) and Pitch Perfect (I genuinely laughed out loud, plus anything with Rebel Wilson in is great).

An amazing present arrived for me in the post today, but it didn't come with a gift card so I have no idea who I am supposed to be thanking?! Please come forward whoever you are. I love it and really want to say thank you!

LOVE this present thank you!

In other news, I have been experimenting with ways to disguise my thinning eyelashes/brows. I bought some individual fake eyelashes and got to work. What do you think?

Before and after.

My tool kit consisted of:

I used the angled brush and the shadow in the Benefit set to fill in the gaps in my brows. Then I used the embark MAC shadow to make hair like flicks in the more patchy areas at the front of my brows. My eyelashes are currently quite short and patchy, I tried a full set of false lashes and they struggled to stay put as they were not supported enough by my own lashes. This time I opted for the lighter individual lashes which I carefully placed along my lash line using tweezers. It took much longer than I thought to apply them but I think the result was worth all of the fiddly handy work. Once the glue had dried I used the Dior liquid liner on my upper lid to disguise any glue marks and give more definition to my eye. A cotton bud dipped in eye make up remover helped to correct any mistakes. I then used the MAC brow brush and the scene shadow to lightly define my lower lid as I do not have enough lashes to use mascara. Normally I would also use a gold eye shadow in the inner corners of my eyes to open them up but my lack of eyelashes means stray bits of glitter etc often end up irritating my eyes so I have had to skip this step.

The end result!

Removing the lashes was quite simple. Soak a cotton pad in eye make up remover press on to lids for a good 30 seconds and the lashes simply come away with the cotton pad.

I am currently in the process of writing my first feature for a magazine. I am beyond excited to be given this opportunity and I will of course let you all know when it is due to come out so you can all run out and grab a copy! I might also be doing a few columns for another magazine shortly afterwards which I am keeping all my finger and toes crossed for. I have now designated a specific bobble hat to be my 'writing hat'. I really am becoming such a loser. Never mind, it makes me happy. I am seriously beginning to dream that writing/journalism could be a serious career option for me. Who knows what the future holds I don't but I do know that nothing will stop me chasing my dreams now.

Love you long time. X


  1. Amazed that you can do the single lashes, I tried once and failed in such a big way!! Determined to give it another go! Missing you sexual xxxx

  2. Anonymous21.4.13

    they both look fabulous - brows and eyelashes - worth all that work

    what a huge and difficult decision to make - doctors really don't help with these. Luckily I only had the lumpectomy option and just did as I was told. Such brilliant news that the lump has shrunk so much - will keep my fingers and toes crossed for you

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  4. Anonymous12.5.13

    Just found your blog via a retweet. Insperational story, makes me want to cry and laugh and be glad that you wrote it. I do hope your surgery is, both succesful, minimal and not as bad as you fear. (by the way not all of us men stare at a womens chest while we talk to her!). You look beautiful even without the hair, guess its inner beauty shinning through. Definetly looking forward to the happy ever after ending to the "kill ken" story. Sent with Prayers & blessings. (Peter).