28 Jan 2013

Delays, day trips and dreams..

Hello strangers. I haven't written in a while because everything I had to write about involved me moaning. I will try and keep the moaning to a minimum for now but there is one event I cannot admit from the line up....

I was supposed to have my next round of the toxic nasties on Friday however after waking at 6.30am and travelling for an hour and a half in stressful traffic and arriving at the hospital I went up to the desk, gave my name and was met by quizzical looks. I was told that my name was not on the list. I told them I was asked to arrive an hour early because the doctor wanted to change my meds. The nurses desperately searched and I was told to go and wait in the Macmillan centre and have a cup of tea whilst they tried to sort everything out. An hour and a half later and the head of the ward came to talk to me and Madre. She said she was really sorry but my notes had been misplaced and I had been missed off the list. What?!!?!! (*cue mental breakdown) 

Now I appreciate it wasn't this poor nurse's fault but honestly I fell apart. It takes so much mental strength to psych yourself up to go to chemo. I had barely slept the night before because I was so anxious and had then woken up super early to travel the great distance to the hospital. Needless to say when I was told it wasn't happening I was pretty distraught. Especially when I then found out that this meant all my treatment was going to have to last a week longer than planned. This might not sound like much time. But trust me when you spend on average 2 weeks a month feeling poorly, every little counts. An extra week seems like a lifetime. The nurse said they could reschedule to Tuesday but then when she was speaking to me about rearranging the next ones she didn't even know what treatment I was having. My confidence in the level of care I am receiving plummeted. I began to wonder if that meant that my head scan request had gotten lost as well as I haven't heard from the MRI people either. Almost every time I turn up to the oncology centre they have forgotten I'm coming and have to squeeze me in. Before my last meeting with doctor K I didn't even get an appointment time until the afternoon before! Sometimes I just want to scream at them 'you are supposed to be saving my life please take it a bit more seriously'. Anyway rant over for now. 

In other news I have been on some lovely trips recently. I've been to see 'Les Miserables' at the cinema, been to Dartmouth for fish and chips (yummy) and had a lovely mother daughter day out on Sunday. 

I am sorry to bring up hair again. I know what you are all thinking.  She had it all shaved off so what an earth does she want to say now?!  Well you see I still have stubbly bits. These stubbly bits are fairly problematic. They get caught in my pillow case meaning that the side I sleep on is almost completely bald but the other side of my head remains fairly hairy. They also come out from behind my ears and the top of my head where my hats rub. The overall effect is that my head looks extraordinarily like a globe. With the patches of hair representing land masses and the bald patches the water. I can assure you that this is an extremely fetching look! (*cough). 

I may not be writing for a little while because the toxic nasties tend to make me feel very poorly for about a week. But as soon as I begin to feel well enough rest assured I will be boring you all with updates on my progress. In case you hadn't already guessed it will probably include walking, eating, television and movie watching, online shopping and hat wearing. But who knows I could surprise you all and take up a new hobby. I've always wanted to be a world champion tiddlywinks player. Oh and a figure skater (I do believe I posses all the necessary physical traits to succeed in this dream and now I have no hair I will be more aerodynamic too) !!

Big love. X

1 comment:

  1. Wellwisher31.1.13

    How frustrating that you had been left off the list! Poor you. I hope it is all now nicely rearranged. I, and many others, will be thinking of you and hoping that you don't feel as bad as you are expecting and that, even if you do, Kenneth is feeling much much worse mening that the toxins are weaving their magic to make you better. You take care of yourself. Enjoy time with Madre.